This summer has been quite busy.
Alex has been away in total 4 week already, and still have one more to go.. maybe even more.
I never quite pictured life without him before. It is hard.
Very hard. I have to cook and clean and bath and do dishes and sleep and mow the lawn and put gas in the car and the list goes on, all by my self.
Adjusting is the hard part. I always thought it would be the nights alone, but its the days that is hard. I can always go to sleep at night if I need them to go by quicker. During the days I can't. The nights I used to dread. How am I supposed to fall asleep without his warm body beside me? What do I do if there is a noise I am not too sure of? I have gotten used to this. Get this... I am in my BASEMENT!!!!! alone while Cass is sleeping upstairs. everyone that knows me, knows this is a HUGE HUGE DEAL!!!!

When Alex was planning his work trip away, I was also planning. I needed to get my mini salon up and running, and I needed to clean the basement and vacuum and clean the upstairs, get things ready for when the inlaws come. I am sitting at the computer for 2 hours now.. and this is what I have done!!!!... procrastinate.. my mom would tell you I am super good at that.. I can unfortunately agree...:(
I wanted to put together come christmas presants and starting working on Cassies photo book and so on.. 





To watch them grow and learn the ways of the world. I am often in awe at their wonder, their pure joy in the magic of life. But all the same I hurt when they hurt, I want to hold them in a bubble of love and safety. But I know that they must experience life – all of it, even the pain and hurt it can bring.